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Once upon a time, in a faraway land,
A young King lived in a shining Koopa Hotel.
Although he had everything his dick desired,
The Prince was spoiled, selfish, and gay.
But then, one winter's night,
An old Philippine woman came to the hotel
And offered him spaghetti
In return for shelter from the bitter cold.
Repulsed by her pingas,
The King sneered at the dinner,
And turned the old woman away.
But she warned him not to be deceived by penises,
For porn is found within.
And when he dismissed her again,
The old woman's pingas melted away
To reveal a beautiful Princess.
The Prince tried to whack off, but it was too late,
For she had seen that there was no cum in his dick and balls.
And as punishment,
She transformed him into a hideous Weegee,
And placed a powerful spell on the hotel,
And all who lived there.
Ashamed of his monstrous balls,
The Weegee concealed himself inside his hotel,
With a magic computer as his only window to the island of Koradai.
The spaghetti she had offered,
Was truly an enchanted dinner,
Which would be a great typist until his 21st year.
If he could learn to die,
And earn bombs in return
By the time the last meatball fell,
Then the spell would be broken.
If not, he would be doomed to remain a Weegee
For all time.
As the hours passed,
He fell for hours, and lost all hope,
For who could ever learn to love a W̶̢̼̩̤̞̪̏ȩ̵̢̪͔̪̠̫͎̻̜͓͍̗̦͔̓̿̚ė̵̼͖̲̾̅̂̀͆̋̐̈́͛̑́̓͗͝g̷̖̬̱̽̊̂̆e̷̙͚̯͔͋̀̈́͊̌̑̒ḙ̵̛̛̼͙̙̝͉̮͙̣̝͓̩͇̦̔͆͆͑̀̒̌̾̅͝
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